Little Things.

Eyes of the Great Depression 027 Photographer: Dorothea Lange

Little things are belittled.

Little as they seem, from a heart so brittle

I don’t mean nor aim to turn the spotlight

If I brandish and flourish bright.

I didn’t ask that you discern

Nor I wished that you adorn

There is none to embellish

There is none and no more to perish

All I wanted was to feel that I still matter

That my thoughts and imagination have come better

But shut this mind it thinks unwell

It makes a thought no value to tell

Do you not know I also have thoughts I want to be listened to

If I talk it out, I feel like I’m quarreling

If I keep it to myself, you tell me I don’t care

I want to be angry to alleviate the injury

But I decided not to advance the pain but endure the bruise

I have a life so worthless and no use

I am just one of the little things

Little things that are not visible

Little things that fall off to greater wonders

Little things that are insignificant

Little things that are not important.

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Self: Friend and Foe

This I don’t agree.

My worst enemy is myself. That is why no matter how misfortunate my environment is, how tricky my enemies for pretending to be friends, I always think it is myself that I should put to ponder. I cannot be in control of all the things, but I can always manage myself and my outlook in life.

From: Twitter

Shame | Guilt | Inferiority

Now he remembers…

He was told to be ashamed of himself because he hadn’t done enough to reciprocate the love he received.

He was told to be guilty for not knowing and not being good enough at anything he did.

He was told to be inferior because he received “too much” love, and that someone deserved that love more than him.

That feeling that he wasn’t loved at all but he understands their situation.

The result…

Now he has weakend power to will, to live with a purpose, and to fight the I-can’t-do-it thinking.

You, The Undefeated!

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HonoredLeadingDuckling-size_restricted.gif

The bleeding of the scars and unraveling of the tangled painful secrets, all but remains a memory of tirade.

The phantoms that summoned your weaknesses shall fail and shall bear you unfaded.

No day will be as dark as night, for you live with love and you fight. You shall be known undefeated, for no rush has gloomed your light.

You deserve anything that you desire. And you are worth the life that you aspire.

Rise up and Be Free!

Strange Dream

https://web-apps.communication.utexas.edu/usher/Moody/About/Facilities/?room=BMC-1.202

This morning, I woke up feeling strange asking myself what could my friend mean about what he said.

“Are you familiar with the old saying? ‘The plant is the crocodile'”.

I felt funny because it didn’t sound an old saying and asked what it meant anyway. He tried to tell me its meaning but our teacher suddenly called me and asked how do I feel now that my erstwhile rival is in front of me telling how beautiful my sweetheart is, as if he is still available for a relationship with her.

I stood immediately and said,

“For a lot of times, I’d say I am still bound to adjust and to recalibrate my emotions because I understand that I am not a powerful being to be in control of everything. I am jealous but still I can be rationally relational when it’s called for.”

Having said that, a deafening applause comes inside the classroom. I smiled to everyone and while looking at him, I laughed at myself.

When I woke up, I tried to think about that “old” saying to figure out how simple but deep it meant,

“That the people that you love the most are the people you are most vulnerable of.”

You can easily feel their love and happiness, but you also feel their pain that much. They always matter in our life.

Happy New Year 2018!

Wishing everyone a happy and meaningful year this 2018!


If you can’t make everyone happy, then make at least one.

15 Things I Did To Be Buoyant In The Drowning Sea of Major Depression

It is not easy to live when emptiness is all there is to see, when the life that you knew becomes your past, when purpose is far-off of your reach, and the world that once your home is unwelcoming. It is a hell of demons outplacing your hope with fear, an ocean of ghosts driving out your soul. It is a taste of eternal destruction as you feel your chest when you breathe out life and you breathe in death.

It is difficult to swim when the current of the ocean is stronger than your limbs. But here are 15 Things I Did To Be Buoyant In The Drowning Sea of Major Depression:

  1. Cried it out, talked, and cried again. It’s okay to cry.
  2.  Ate a lot (stress eating), slept and woke up anytime.
  3. Bought new clothes to wear.
  4. Isolated myself.
  5. Tried to be my past self.
  6. Read interest books even though I don’t understand enough.
  7. Reviewed my academic lessons.
  8. Walked and walked and walked.
  9. Did something crazy.
  10. Sang songs that resonate the feeling of emptiness and sorrow (e.g. Second Chances by Allegiance).
  11. Watched movies that resonate the feeling of guilt, anxiety, and fear (e.g. The Exorcism of Emily Rose).
  12. Cooperated in the professional health care.
  13. Wrote anything that comes from the mind no matter how segmented or meaningless it was.
  14. Thought that I was not part of my problem and looking from a wider vision. Identifying what have been my stressors and getting away from them.
  15. Loving and being kinder.

 

A CrashCourse about Depression

 

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